Buy Nothing Day

Yes, thats right. Don't you even think about buying even a sip of coke to drink today.


hmmph

~ Wow, never saw that oak tree standing there before ~

Had a fantastic weekend. It was the ex boyfriend’s weekend to take T, so I had the entire weekend to do whatever I wanted. It was a brilliant time.

Spent time with an old friend…now a new old friend thanks to illuminating new light I saw him in.

Also,


I hung out with a ghost - he has been haunting me since 9th grade. He holds the title of many firsts for me: first time to: get drunk, fall in love, smoke a joint, skip school, feel accepted, be infatuated, find the crossroads, hear Type-O negative > Stabbing Westward > City of Angels Soundtrack > The Cure > list goes on and on…, want to have sex, start the games, invoke deeper thought, open my eyes to other points of view, hear of Crowley < The Masons < Wicca < Pagans < other miscellaneous occult and conspiracy thoughts and theories.

*yawn* ok didn’t go to sleep until 7:30 this morning so train of thought isn’t really working out so well for me at the moment.

Look out Maynard, Here we come


Jess and I are going to the A Perfect Circle concernt in Peoria, Ill. on December 10th! (just recieved ticket confirmation) Just us girls no boys. Oh my, I can't wait. Maybe I will stay outside the entire time and stalk the backstage door until I see Maynard. I must tell him in person how wonderful and inspiring his music is (in both bands) then he will see how much of an insightful and brilliant girl I am, and we will become best of friends. Oh yes. That is what will happen I am sure of it.

Listed v. 2.3

1. I can proudly proclaim that yes, I have a foot fetish
2. I am addicted to Photoshop, once I start editing a picture – that’s it I am stuck for hours messing with little things, trying out countless fonts and filters
3. The 21st century offers such a selection in hair care products, that I will never acquire enough cabinet space to house it all.
4. Amy Lee from Evanescence is my new crush (have you heard that voice? Have you seen that beautiful face?)
5. I am going to take singing lessons soon
6. I am not buying Christmas presents this years (except for kids and some select friends) I will be giving out cards from each charity I give to and actually “give the gift of giving”.
7. I don’t like Christmas or thanksgiving. I don’t really know why. I really don’t believe in Jesus or that we have a right to celebrate the fact we took this land away from it’s original inhibitors and put them in a vast wasteland to survive.
8. I miss Dale and want him back from Iraq. I talk to him on a daily basis and I hate the fact our insane ‘president’ put him there. He needs to be home. He was talking to me when he base was bombed by mortars. He said, “The Iraqis don't use them right.” However, good to know, I still don’t feel any better that he is there, fighting for McDonalds, Exxon, and the Gap to all have their place in downtown town Baghdad. RISKING HIS LIFE FOR CORPORATE AMERICA!
9. too pissed off to list anymore.

News worthy

Originally published in Current, Oct. 20, 2003 By Mike Janssen

Misperceptions:

What percent of audience members held one or more of three misperceptions about the war? (Source: Program on International Policy Attitudes.)
Fox 80%
CBS 71%
ABC 61%
NBC 55%
CNN 55%
Print media 47%
PBS/NPR 23%

Pubcasters welcomed a study released Oct. 2 [2003] that showed people who turn to public broadcasting for news have the most accurate views of the Iraq war among media consumers.

****
Yeah, so all in all don't trust what you see on t.v. you should know better by now. Try surfing the net to find out more information than what the networks feed to you. This is the USA people. There is no truth voluntarily given - especially to inform us on what our own preemptive war is doing to the world.

Thanks again to Moby for giving us great insight from his journal. I love that guy. I think he hates bush as much as I do - and he talks to people like he isn't famous (even though I never listen to his music) How lovely!

blah blah blah


strawberry kisses and butterfly whispers
lead me with faith
unconditional love and unaltered dreams
keep me real
the fear and spider webbed nostalgia
take me away
truth and life purpose
shove me right back
*
*
Tug of war with my soul
and you step in with scissors in one hand
and super glue in the other
cut in two
both sides fall
bonded back together
chemically fused and fixed

hmm. not going to finish this now. Maybe later.

Nice shot.

Please tell me I am not the only one who thought that “Hey man nice shot” by Filter was about Kurt Cobain! Jess and I had to Google Filter and Kurt Cobain to find the answer. I was wrong. The song is NOT (contrary to popular belief) about Kurt. The song is based loosely on a movie the singer/songwriter from Filter had seen before Kurt had even died.

I miss listening to Nirvana. I used to wear little Kurt shirts all the time and I didn’t even listen to the damn band when he was alive. I was such the little sheep, however black it was, now that I look back on it.

I have to get back to taking my defensive driving test online. Damn thing, I have to spend 4 hours minimum on this! Just for speeding! So very unjust...

respectfully

The interview with GOD

Nathan's sister sent this to me. You all know I am agnostic, but I just wanted to share this with you because it did touch a part of me and may just do the same for you as well. Also, if you like this you will love: (or if you don't like it but you want a more 'new age'/philosophy' approach) then view:

Live REAL (compliments of Nick) (and I like this better just because I can appreciate more of the artistic approach on this than the other one)

P.S. If you have dail-up it may take a little longer for you to load, if you have high speed internet then there should be no reason why you should NOT click at least one of the two links. They really are inspiring.

Maybe even enough for me to call my dad in a few days.

beauty is in revolution

My beautiful little butterfly. Sometimes Orange or changing like a soft spin of a kaleidoscope.
What is it that you want to tell me? I am listening, your soul forever grown, as old as eternity now.

I have put you there and you do not mind, locked and loving in your field of red.

The healer and the healed have shown me my inner strength.

For now, We stand/stood together, the Trinity, and you. Your soft butterfly wings whispered and willed enlightenment to us all. Thank you love.

*************

Went to Chicago this past weekend. Really and truly an Apophatic weekend. Nick and Kisa my love, respect, and appreciation go beyond emotion to you both. Through what would seem to be the darkest time in my life, I can look at it with all that inner light and strength people love to rant about but you never seem to really comprehend. But.....fortune-ately I do comprehend, well more than comprehend I have discovered and stumbled onto this new path. You have not just helped me but you have helped my son as well.

I will see you both again soon.


Cruetly was/maybe still is my favorite card. I just can't figure out why.

small n big fucking Q

while waiting for the drugs to kick in so I can get some sleep....let me just ramble about some things that are on my mind at the moment.

I cleaned YOUR vomit out the the toilet about an hour ago, only so I could throwup in a nice sparkling clean one. I am sick because my nerves are so shot that I can not do anything but be sick.
Then I discover you took the toothpaste with you as you so hastly left me alone to deal with fear and anger. So i had to wash my mouth out with our son's child toothpaste and Juicy Juice fruit punch.

Becky stayed here with me and I gave her your boxer shorts to wear to sleep in. (so fucking ironic) she calmed me down when i could not stop shaking, she helped me breath when for 2 and 1/2 hours I drowned in panic. she rubbed my back and did not object to doing so because I had not done the same for her. She did the things that I wanted you to do, so she wore your underwear and is currently in our bed, being here for me.

THIRD TRIMESTER ABORTION GOES LIKE THIS:

The baby is delivered backwards....with the head left inside. They insert a tube/needle into the nape of the baby's neck and basically SUCK the life (brains) out of the child. The only reason why this is not murder is because they do not deliver the baby entirely. think abou that for awhile. If the baby happens to be bigger than expected, they will inject the placenta with Saline to basically burn the baby alive...the baby will then thrash and fight ....and the doctors will dismemeber the child and take it out piece by piece. I am not currently up-to-date on the legality of this. As far as I know in MOST (that means that it still could be taking place this very instant) it is illegal. If you have any information for me about how I can help regaurding abortion laws please email me or leave a comment.

"Sweets to the sweet, farewell!"

I bought myself a bouquet of flowers today. I should put them in my hair and dance and sing songs that drive me even more insane.


Larded with sweet flowers;
which bewept to the grave did go
which true-love showers.
(Act IV Sc. V, Lines 37-39)

Although the grave is not of my fathers.....it is the grave of my love.

a little piece

MORE portishead. Not many of you probably know them and that is how it should be. Their music is for the selected. "Who feels it knows it" - Bob Marely Yes, he said it best.

ROADS

Ohh, can't anybody see
We've got a war to fight
Never found our way
Regardless of what they say

How can it feel, this wrong
From this moment
How can it feel, this wrong

Storm.. in the morning light
I feel
No more can I say
Frozen to myself
****************

Tempest said: " I dont want faded love"
Professor said: "you have fated love"

And the Tempest screams and claws again at his rice paper soul . Her nails dripping with bloody guilt and empty pleasure.
She turns with darkened smiles and malicious filled hunger to feel - no thing. She falls, right along with him. Isn't it tragic? -- How can it feel this wrong?

Tell it to Shakespeare or Tolstoy why don't you.