remembering Demter

Elemental
beauty

Mental ashes
Surprise Yourself.
Justification Cements
The sidewalk of
Choice
Respectfully Numb,
~ Keeper of the
fields

to Peter on his Birthday

going through my journal - found this entry dated in 2003. It made me smile.

Many years to pass
may divinity kiss you
- lovingly
with an open embrace
feeling the burn of
sanctuary
You have been blessed
to and from
people that love you.


**********

I am going to write something brilliant tonight. I just decided it has been too damn long.

in tune

++

Her: “I haven’t even lied for 2 days!”
Him: “are you lying now?”
Her: (cute and guilty smile) “yes.”
And he loves her anyway - in fact, he loves her more just because she said that.
+++

I finally changed my desktop image a few seconds ago. It has changed to a screen filled with green/blue hues and tones. It is entitled “peace”.

++++

I have also noticed I use a lot of unnecessary hyphens when I type. It is my “all else fails” punctuation mark. My knowledge of correct grammar usage is carelessly bad.

+++++

My favorite “moment” with my son is when he is half asleep in his little race car bed. I lean over and whisper “I love you” and he will repeat with a barely audible whisper “I love you mommy” or just “I love you”. That is when you realize you are ALIVE and ALIVE and brilliantly WELL.

++++++

Goblet of ROCK

Even if the Alice in Chains cover isn't quite up to par (as if it ever could be) rockin' it is still so much fun.

*dramatic intervention*

I absolutely despise being so fickle. I love him. I love him too........oh wait........I think I want to love that other guy as well. Watch the temple fall and it seems every time it does - someone else lifts the bricks to rebuild it for me. I don't lift a finger. Why? I am a very indecisive girl who has a addiction for love - that is next on my things to fix in my life - along with the leaky washer in the basement.

* end dramatic intervention*

Angelo is the best shoulder kitten ever. He is definitely a great ninja. The only thing is - he pisses in the corner (and it isn't just a corner it is a corner of cat piss that has become a tradition to 3 generations of cats). Ninja or not....he better stop that or he will become an outside kitten.

Listed 3

1. I am singing in a rock band
2. I will never divulge the ridiculous name of said band
3. the first show is on the 29th
4. I bought fantastic colored yarn - I will knit a scarf
5. I was informed by 2 people that I cursed in my sleep last night
6. I haven't watched the news in over a month
7. Harry Potter has taken over my television (not by my choice)
8. I went to court the other day (regarding child support) I could smell the injustice and see the hypocrisy dripping from the faded crown molding
9. I have been drinking Arizona plum green tea like mad
10. I am doing well on my quest to quit smoking!

the breakdown

58.3 % Persephone
"If you exemplify the qualities of Persephone, you have most likely experienced great loss in your life -- the loss of your health or your emotional or physical security, the betrayal of a friend or lover, the loss of a child, your own divorce or that of your parents. This experience has forced you to face the dark, unenlightened side of yourself (the side that blames other people or circumstances for your own suffering) and transform yourself into a stronger, more independent, more accepting and more loving person. It may have also led you down a spiritual path, and moved you to place great emphasis on inner calm and on close connections with friends. You are capable of embracing, integrating and accepting difficult experiences. Because of that skill, you offer others the gift of empathy -- you know where people are or have been."

16.7% Artemis
"If you are ruled by Artemis, your independent spirit belongs to no one but yourself. Your body is vibrant, your attitude robust and your manner vigorous and alive. You are driven by physical rather than mental energy. You feel complete without a man in your life and would never compromise your essential nature for a romantic partner. You are skilled at establishing personal boundaries and enter into relationships on your own terms -- in short, you can take care of yourself."

16.7% Aphoridite
"If you are ruled mostly by Aphrodite, your femininity and passionate spirit are the controlling forces in your life. You tend to be charismatic and self-assured, comfortable with your body and unrestrained sexually. Men are drawn to you like bees to flowers, which satisfies your erotic nature. However, you tend not to form permanent attachments with lovers because you value your sexual freedom, which may leave you feeling lonely and even depleted once a relationship ends."

8.3% Hera
" you tend to find fulfillment in relationships and look on marriage as a permanent union. In marriage, you feel no sense of frustration or resentment, because you are an equal partner with your spouse. You are confident and have no trouble asserting your authority in and out of the relationship. You seek men who are self-confident and successful, because you are comfortable with the concept that you can be fulfilled through him (and him through you). As long as your partner honors the marriage as much as you do and appreciates you, you will be happy. If he doesn't, you must concentrate on your own growth and discover an identity independent of him."

****

I am on a greek goddess kick, can you tell?

a.muse.me

- I have a new (3 weeks new) kitten. His name is Angelo and he is a ninja.
- writing about cats make me think of people who are allergic to them
- one single hair in one single spot on my left arm grows much longer than the rest. I just pulled it out (again)
- the only two video games I could play religiously would be Mortal Combat (for playstation 1) and Gauntlet (for super Nintendo)
- video games make me vomit * sometimes
- I predicted the end of The Village * I love that I am so smart
- my two best (guy) friends play a lot of video games * I am tempted to hide the controls in the cabinet with all the cleaning supplies. *gasp*
- Spending time said best guy friends help me stay ALIVE
- I am trying to wean myself off of anti-depressants (for the 3rd time)
- I hope the notion that your body can heal itself with the aid of holistic medicine is true. It seems very logical to me.
- save the world

still here

Your nurturing instinct is strong today, Dear Cancer...

So many times reflection over takes your memories with searing pain and aching regret. Too many times reflection is merely a way of self torture for us all. I stopped that today. I reflected and had no feelings of regret and a smile with the remembrance of true pain. I now know that we need those experiences that will bring you to the brink of hell’s wrath then only to rip you quickly back to the peace and radiance of heaven. My love for all is so overpowering that it makes me almost weak with strength and truth. You have to know the desire to want to die before you can face the brilliant truth of wanting to LIVE. The desire and instinct to live for your true being and not for someone else, money, religion, your parents, etc. I sound like a cliché Zen book, I know. But honestly, those things are so cliché because they are so HONEST and TRUE. It becomes cliché when people loose their respect for the truth and deny it time and time again. This vicious cycle is in existence because it has a purpose. I respect it as much as I respect the breath of wind through a willow tree, my house plants that are constantly struggling for life, my son’s ability to love with honesty and innocence, my crappy job that drives me crazy, and any other little thing in my life and outside of it. I wish I could put this message into tiny colored bottles and send them to every gas station, store, pantry, post office, etc. If I could bottle the message I would. If I could give it to you all I would. All I can do is love unconditionally (and yes there is such a thing) every day until the day that my purpose is served and balance is restored.

Sage

"There is no meaning to it all except a shadow in the eye at the intersection of morality. "


(credit goes to Nick Bantock again)

Subject to interpretation

"Perhaps one of her greatest values lies in her faithfulness. As she had previously been true to her first lover, she vows to remain forever constant and faithful to Dmitri when she finally realizes her love for him. Furthermore, she accepts her involvement with the murder and willingly seeks to share the guilt with Dmitri. All these factors help redeem her in spite of her capricious past."