In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Mommies can say fuck too?

I have found myself lately torn in between the “mother role” and the “20 year old” woman role. I feel guilty for wanting to wear my favorite band T-shirt and a pair of holey jeans, to turn up my music while eating a Reese’s cup - lounging on the couch, for talking to my boyfriend for hours on the phone, to leave piles of laundry on the floor and take a nap instead.

The mother inside of me says that this is no big deal – these are little things; I need to let all of those young antics go so I can be a more productive and responsible adult. Yes, it is quite simple. Grow up just a little bit more. Can’t you PLEAAASE?

The Young and Selfish woman in me screams at my Mother persona. Don’t let the responsibilities of motherhood make your soul heavy and your spirit fade away!!! Listen to your rock music at high volumes (when T is not home of course)….eat packs of Reese’s in your Pj’s after T goes to bed, Call your boyfriend and talk to him for hours – so much that it makes you giddy (using a calling card of course, as not to run up your phone bill) Fuck the laundry! Do it when you and T have absolutely nothing else to wear! -- They are just dirty clothes; they are not the key to existing!!!!

So the battle continues…..everyday.

Hell Yes. Take a peak at what Miss Lyndsay has been researching. (more of my views on the subject later)

I have been so busy writing encrypted posts that I have failed to mention my exciting trip to Chicago last month. I was taken to see Berlioz’s Requiem - performed by the Chicago Symphony Orchestra. It was such a mind blowing experience that effected me so greatly that I became dizzy and thought if I might take a breath then I would tumble down from the balcony and ruin the entire performance! It was fantastic. I was never a fan a classical music – until now.

I have a few classical cd ‘s. Although they are for babies, the cd’s are supposed to invoke positive cognitive skills in children- or something. I listened to them anyway the other day. Trying to recapture the feelings from the performance. It did not work. I felt nothing like I did that night. But - Without him by my side - how can I?

The Moon: it is funny how you can speak about illusions and reality but when reality hits you , you still dont know how to take it.
The Sun: are you talking to me or you? or both?
The Moon: you
The Sun: I think you are talking to you as well
The Moon: maybe
The Sun: I speak of illusions and reality BECAUSE I don't know how to take it
The Sun: because ultimately...who really does know how to take it? Jesus maybe? Buddha? Boddhisatvas? Krishna? angels and demons don't even know
The Sun: I can't believe I kissed you by the altar
The Moon: I can.