Queue struggling musician
A few friends of mine started this - If you are a struggling musician and tired of going around in circles with the music industry. Try this site, it gets your name and music out there to people who WANT new talent! If you want more information, give me a shout. Bandwerx
Monday, March 31
Friday, March 28
Hello love, You have 2 seconds to live.
2 days ago I was absolutely sure that I was going to die, on account of a 100 foot Meteor. Of course at the time I had no idea that the flashing fluorescent blue/green light that lit up the entire eastern sky was, in fact, a piece of space rock. In my paranoid mind, it was a nuclear attack and I had seconds to live.
I now know that I am worthless in a panic situation.
Nick was trying to calm me down on the other end of the line (from Chicago). We had been talking seconds earlier until panic struck both of us. He had seen it too. - I couldn’t hear him. All I could do was start crying, shaking, almost screaming. My death phobia and I had come face to face, and it gave me a huge sloppy kiss on the lips. I dropped the phone, and went into the kitchen sitting on the floor, because I could not stand. Gasping for air that I knew would soon cease to enter my lungs. I realized then that if I was going to die, I wanted my son in my arms; I jumped up and stumbled into T’s room, picking him up, holding in my sobs, as not to wake him. I held him to me so close; closing my eyes, wishing this terror would just stop. 2 minuets went by. There was still no destructive path of a circle of fire engulfing the town, no sirens, and no chaos, just me waiting for death while holding my son.
My friend Jess happened to be staying with me this night, she had picked up the phone and continued to speak with Nick. She told me that there was nothing on the news, that Chicago and all the surrounding towns were still there. – She didn’t think it was a bomb.
To make a very long and story short, I ended up calling the guy at our local Village Pantry (who I later learned - is Tim). My reasoning for this being, I had to think of someone else that would be up at this hour – the 24-hour gas station attendant! He answered the phone and I said, “This is going to be the most bizarre phone call of the evening.” He laughed and I asked him if he saw the flash of light. He was very concerned and said yes and asked me what it was. Of course, I didn’t know. He said people had come in off the highway and were very much in a state of panic. He told me to call Channel 18 (our local news station). I called the News station and a reporter answered, he asked me very reporter like questions then told me a very ambiguous answer to my questions about what the hell was going on. He said it may or may not have been a Meteorite but nothing is confirmed…so I call Tim back and chat with him a bit explaining what the reporter had said. Now, I am still ever so much in a very anguished mental state. I call Nick back, tears still falling down my face. “I just can’t handle this, I can’t handle the reality of death”…he talked to me, asked me the right questions…finally after an hour or so of coaching I was calm enough to try and sleep. We both agreed that I need to speak to someone about this Thantophobia (severe fear of death).
The next day Channel 18 called and asked me if they could come out to do an on camera interview. Loving attention, of course I said yes. Anyway, I really am still shook up about being so rudely confronted with this phobia of mine. I am trying to work through it. I just don’t think I really like Meteors all that much anymore…
2 days ago I was absolutely sure that I was going to die, on account of a 100 foot Meteor. Of course at the time I had no idea that the flashing fluorescent blue/green light that lit up the entire eastern sky was, in fact, a piece of space rock. In my paranoid mind, it was a nuclear attack and I had seconds to live.
I now know that I am worthless in a panic situation.
Nick was trying to calm me down on the other end of the line (from Chicago). We had been talking seconds earlier until panic struck both of us. He had seen it too. - I couldn’t hear him. All I could do was start crying, shaking, almost screaming. My death phobia and I had come face to face, and it gave me a huge sloppy kiss on the lips. I dropped the phone, and went into the kitchen sitting on the floor, because I could not stand. Gasping for air that I knew would soon cease to enter my lungs. I realized then that if I was going to die, I wanted my son in my arms; I jumped up and stumbled into T’s room, picking him up, holding in my sobs, as not to wake him. I held him to me so close; closing my eyes, wishing this terror would just stop. 2 minuets went by. There was still no destructive path of a circle of fire engulfing the town, no sirens, and no chaos, just me waiting for death while holding my son.
My friend Jess happened to be staying with me this night, she had picked up the phone and continued to speak with Nick. She told me that there was nothing on the news, that Chicago and all the surrounding towns were still there. – She didn’t think it was a bomb.
To make a very long and story short, I ended up calling the guy at our local Village Pantry (who I later learned - is Tim). My reasoning for this being, I had to think of someone else that would be up at this hour – the 24-hour gas station attendant! He answered the phone and I said, “This is going to be the most bizarre phone call of the evening.” He laughed and I asked him if he saw the flash of light. He was very concerned and said yes and asked me what it was. Of course, I didn’t know. He said people had come in off the highway and were very much in a state of panic. He told me to call Channel 18 (our local news station). I called the News station and a reporter answered, he asked me very reporter like questions then told me a very ambiguous answer to my questions about what the hell was going on. He said it may or may not have been a Meteorite but nothing is confirmed…so I call Tim back and chat with him a bit explaining what the reporter had said. Now, I am still ever so much in a very anguished mental state. I call Nick back, tears still falling down my face. “I just can’t handle this, I can’t handle the reality of death”…he talked to me, asked me the right questions…finally after an hour or so of coaching I was calm enough to try and sleep. We both agreed that I need to speak to someone about this Thantophobia (severe fear of death).
The next day Channel 18 called and asked me if they could come out to do an on camera interview. Loving attention, of course I said yes. Anyway, I really am still shook up about being so rudely confronted with this phobia of mine. I am trying to work through it. I just don’t think I really like Meteors all that much anymore…
Sunday, March 23
Under Construction:
<> Redo "me" page
<> Post the things that are beautiful list
<> Post some ramblings and sucky Poetry
<> Update pictures of T
<> Take off the oh so many pictures of Me (and try not to be so damn vain)
<> Play around with Template and Self designed graphics
<> Update links/Add a few, take some away
<> Take down old site, and incorporate it into this one
<> make sure the Mantra graphic is taken down
<> start the Quotes page!
Adopt a Solider!
I think this is a great idea, now that the war is here there really is no point in arguing about whether or not it is right or wrong. It is done, we have to make the best of all parties involved. If anyone knows anything about how to give support to the people of Iraq -- let me know.
sunshowered
spiraled
nurture
update: I dont know if there is anyway around this or not...again, If anyone has any info, then please let me know.
"THE DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE HAS PUT A COMPLETE STOP TO ANYTHING GOING OVER SEAS TO "ANY SERVICE MEMBER" UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE."
I think this is a great idea, now that the war is here there really is no point in arguing about whether or not it is right or wrong. It is done, we have to make the best of all parties involved. If anyone knows anything about how to give support to the people of Iraq -- let me know.
sunshowered
spiraled
nurture
update: I dont know if there is anyway around this or not...again, If anyone has any info, then please let me know.
"THE DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE HAS PUT A COMPLETE STOP TO ANYTHING GOING OVER SEAS TO "ANY SERVICE MEMBER" UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE."
Tuesday, March 18
writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block writer's block.
I hate to proclaim that I - am a writer. I am not a writer....but i hate it when i can't write!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hate to proclaim that I - am a writer. I am not a writer....but i hate it when i can't write!!!!!!!!!!!!